feelings Archives

I have read a wonderful book called “The Power of Divine Eros” by A H Almaas and Karen Johnson. At the end of each chapter are questions, which I have written the answers to and share with you here:

How do I experience the selfless giving of love?

When I give people a massage or healing session, I tune into spirit, the divine eros, and open my heart to the flow of love.

I experience it like the feeling of taking someone on a journey, with the power of love, unconditional and honouring. I feel that I guide them to move out of their head into their body and experience the opening of the heart space–a Stargate which they go through or sit on the edge of pleasure, floating on waves of breath, in tune with and in control of their own energy. I feel the connection of our energy–sometimes I let a vibrate me, sometimes it turns me on, and sometimes it gives me energetic orgasms.

I give my body and spiritual energy over to this divine erotic energy and feels wonderful.

I need to be aware of my breath and my control, so that I keep the other person’s energy at all on the edge, without going over.

Sometimes when I’m not feeling 100 percent at the beginning, the healing energy coming through heals me as well and I feel relaxed and energised afterwards.

When people express themselves in moans or words, I feel great, to know I have once again been a tour guide to help them get in touch with the divine erotic energy.

How do I experience passionate wanting?

I experience passionate wanting in the moment. Often when giving a Tantra Pleasure Experience massage, I feel that I “ fall in love “ with the person. I feel very close and intimate. Sometimes I WANT to stay in the moment for ever–feeling the connection and the pleasure, the intimacy and the flow of love that seems to go both ways in a circle. And neither needs to give or receive, take or leave, not separate, just flowing in unconditional compassionate feeling. Is it love? Or divine eros? No words can really describe how I feel.

How I experience the relationship of these 2 things – Selfless Giving of love and Passionate Wanting – in my life, in my experience?

I experience these two as a flow. As I give pleasure to someone, I feel intimate, connected to them and to the large wholeness of being. The Wanting is to merge rather than a selfish need to hold on or separate. It’s a merging into wholeness.

How do I experience the opposition, the conflict, or the disharmony between this week giving spiritual love on the one hand, and the wanting, the desire, the passion and intensity on the other?

Spiritual love is connecting, easy, flowing and sometimes Wanting is separating and pulsing, not flowing smoothly.

With a lover recently, I didn’t feel that spiritual connection. He didn’t kiss me much, and didn’t touch me much. No desire was awakened. Although my yoni was very juicy, my mind was not turned or not tuned in. It was a strange disconnected feeling, however it still worked. We made love, easily and with good connection. But without intimacy, without love. So I flowed with physical, the passion and His obvious need and desire for sex (but not desire for me). And I flowed with my body’s needs for sex, for release, for physical enjoyment. But I didn’t feel loved.

As Allan Pease says “Women give sex for love, and men give love for sex…”

What are the ways in which I experience my love for the world?

My love for the world comes with compassion, with healing, releasing as much judgment about people so that I can love them and be open for them to learn, heal, relax and surrender. To make a safe space for people to rejuvenate and feel relaxed, empowered and re-energised.

My intention is that the sacred space that I have created in my healing temple room in Adelaide and the portable healing space I create in other cities, towns, homes and rooms, is a safe secure space for people to feel at-home, so that they can release their burdens stresses, fears and anxieties; to heal their hurts and pains, and feel the free flow of the spiritual energy and the connection to the Universe/Source/God to be whole and complete.

I also experience my love for the world by healing the world one person at a time.

How do I experience my love for spiritual freedom?

My love for spiritual freedom is experienced as a light, unlimited, disembodied feeling–like dreaming, like when you first wake from sleep, like a magic orgasm, no limits, no boundaries, just ease and flow. Its like swimming with no clothes to restrict, like flying on the wings of the wind, being transported by a touch or taste or smell. It can last a few seconds, a few minutes, or be outside of time and eternal. It’s a feeling that is beyond sight, beyond words, beyond description. The words talk around it. Like clear sky–eternal and limitless, with no edges, no horizon, no beginning or end.

How do I experience the relationship between these 2 loves? My love for the world and my love for spiritual freedom.

In my Tantric practice and teaching, I am trying to give the client an experience of spiritual freedom and love and loving themselves, by taking them through their body, via breathing awareness, so that they can feel the freedom that I feel. I guide them through a series of steps that mostly gives them a spiritual experience of…

Is it tantra, Home, God, Enlightenment, source, WTF, sexual, spiritual, pleasure, bliss, euphoria or wow!?

Which leaves them often in an altered state, a different space, relaxed and energised, heavy and blissful. They are in love with themselves and feeling free…

What connects them? Me!

Ally July 2014

Divine Eros is spiritually opening my heart, mind body and soul to the flow of love.

This is pure gold. Read it now, while you’re still healthy. Read it slowly.

I do not know who wrote it, however there are some things we can do now…

– – – –

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal.

Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.

Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret.

But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do.

And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.

Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years.

There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away.

People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love.

Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits.

The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content.

When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly.

Choose happiness.

Thank you to William for the lovely sunset photo 🙂