happiness

How much does a Tantra Massage cost?

How much does a Tantra Massage cost?

Cost to you for Sexual Dysfunction?

MEN: Do you have Premature Ejaculation?  Do you suffer from erection dysfunction? Have you had a  prostate operation? Are you dis-satisfied with your sex life? Do you have a lot of stress and tension in your work and life and don’t know how to get relief? Lack of sleep or broken sleep? Pain, lack of pleasure for you and your partner? Frustration? Lack of satisfaction for you and your lover? Performance anxiety?

What does this cost you in your life? Your relationship, happiness, joy, relaxation, control, pleasure, orgasms, performance…

Cost to do something?

Have you tried drugs, viagra, hormones, pumps, injections? Are you sick of debilitating side effects? Painful frustrating experiences? Tried to focus on something else? Been castigated for your efforts? Does it work for you?

Ancient Tantra Technique is easy to learn

A simple 3 step exercise takes about an hour for you to learn what to do, you practise doing it, and get an idea of how it works. For YOU! Very easy! The side effects are that you will feel relaxed and energised.

Then you practise – by yourself (it’s fun) until you feel competent. Then surprise your lover!!

She will be happy and grateful. You will be satisfied and relaxed. Confident in your masculinity and control of your sexuality.

Possible Benefitshappy couple mytantramassage

  • easy to learn and practice!
  • it works!
  • stronger erections
  • release tension
  • control ejaculation
  • multiple orgasms before or after ejaculation
  • increase masculinity and confidence
  • de-stress
  • full body orgasm
  • relaxation
  • sleep better.

How much does a Tantra Massage cost for Men?

It costs less than Viagra. It’s more healthy than drugs. Ad it works better than mental control.

For men, a one hour one-one discrete private confidential Tantra Massage session to heal any of these issues, is $250. Other sessions are available see Mens page

Available in Adelaide, Melbourne, Newcastle, Hobart Brisbane, Perth, Canberra, Launceston, Sydney – see my Schedule page. Book now HERE

How much does a Tantra Massage cost for Women?

For women with sexual abuse issues, who have been hurt either mentally, physically or emotionally, you can also have a confidential consultation and Tantra session to learn how to relax, tune into and enjoy your feminine energy, and how to have a (female) orgasm – or a pampering sensual soft massage. See Women’s page for more information.

Tried and tested by experienced Tantra Teacher

Tantric exercises are originally from ancient India (Tantra) and China (Taoism), have been controlled, hidden or lost for many years, and are now available to all.

Ally has studied and practiced Tantra for over 20 years. She has taught Tantra techniques experientially since 2009 to thousands of men of all ages, occupations and health in Australia and New Zealand.

Any testimonials?

Ally has received many grateful testimonials from men who have learnt this technique and expressed how happy they and their wives, lovers and girlfriends as a result.

Hi Ally, I just want to let you know I had a very deep sleep last night, which doesn’t happen very often, and I’m sure yesterday’s wonderful, exhilarating session with you was the reason. Thanks again for a new experience. I will be visiting you again. K

You have helped me bring back my confidence in myself 🙂 🙂 I will practice control.
J Adelaide

I was amazed at how long I was able to control my ejaculation using the tantra techniques. B Melbourne

Thank you for removing my block for my sexuality. i feel the power of my masculinity without the bravado! J Perth

I came to see you in desperation yet in one visit you successfully convinced me that there was nothing wrong with me. You have marvellous hands! Thank you for your ministrations! D Brisbane

I recommend Ally to make you feel wonderful. I came in as a 60 year old and left as a 17 year old!  B Brisbane.

book now my tantra massage

6 ways to uplift your feelings to happiness and joy

6 Ways to Uplift your Feelings to Happiness and Joy6 ways to JOY with mytantramassage.com.au

Feeling Alone or Lonely?

Although you may feel that you are all alone, and no one has ever felt like you feel or gone through what you feel, don’t worry about it. You are not alone. You are never alone. There is always someone there for you. To help you, comfort you, give you advice or whatever you need. You just have to ask.

I know it’s not easy to know that the person who is making you feel bad or lonely has ever experienced what you are going through. But they have. Sometimes that’s the way they show they care. The way they love you. And it’s the best they can do.

So here are 6 ways for you to change that lonely feeling. When you don’t want to be alone or when you are feeling sad and want to change your mood.

6 ways to change your feeling easily

  1. Help someone

The easiest way to change your mood, to feel connected, is to help someone else. Someone who is not as well off. Smile at someone. Help a friend or family member who is not as well off as you are. When you nurture another person, you nurture yourself and love your self more. It helps you feel better, relax and open your heart.

  1. Make someone laugh

Think of a joke or something that makes YOU laugh and feel happy. Ring or text a friend and make them smile or laugh. It makes you feel better too. When you smile and laugh it lifts the mood of everyone around you. Google jokes on your favourite subject!

Laughter Yoga is a good way to help you laugh – deliberately start laughing “Ho ho, ha ha ha, hee hee hee” and keep saying it out loud until you actually laugh and feel happy!!

  1. Connect with nature, an animal, tree or plant

Go outside and be with nature, an animal or even tree or plant. Take your shoes off and walk on the grass, feel the cool earth under your feet. Walk on the beach and wriggle your toes in the sand, feel the water wash over your hands or feet. Stroke or cuddle a cat or dog if there is a friendly one nearby. If you don’t have a real one, get a teddy bear to hug!

You could go to the park and hug a tree! People often talk to their plants and vegetables as they believer that helps them grow.

  1. Massage*

Book to receive a massage. This is a lovely way to pamper your self, be touched and gently stroked. Just relaxing lying on the massage table and allowing the masseuse or masseur will help you feel better about yourself. There are many different forms of massage which can relax, refresh and energise you to feel better about yourself and your body. They don’t have to be painful if you specifically ask for a Relaxing Massage*…

  1. Respectfully ask a person older than you

Ask older people how they used to feel when they were your age and going through what you are going through. They have great stories and good advice to help you. They’ve often made similar “mistakes” to you!

Remember to respect others and they will show respect to you in return.

  1. It’s a game

Try to think of this life of yours as a game – a very big game. Or a play, where you are acting or playing the best and most positive happy role you can. Change your perspective so you can find the fun in any dull or boring experience. It’s not about winning the game. It’s about playing it and having fun. And learning along the way. About yourself. About others.

 

I hope these 6 ways to happiness; 6 positive ideas have helped you feel better. Given you hope that other people (like me) get lonely too, and are thinking of you and sending you unconditional love as you read these words.

Ally

* I am a bit biased about massage, being a masseuse who loves to give gentle sensual relaxing massages – book here!

6 ways have a sensual Tantra massage to relax
It has been how long since you had a massage?
joy arises from within and a massage
Pleasure is always derived from something outside you whereas joy arises from within – Eckhart Tolle

 

Joyful feeling after Tantra massage with Ally
JOY drawing by Ally

 

 

Ally A Heroine’s Journey

Ally’s heroine’s journey

Past

Once upon a recent time a sad, unconfident girl called Ally wanted to change her dreary, boring, hard life. Her dream was to become a successful SPEAKER and present talks and facilitate workshops to groups of people to share her love and wisdom all over the world.

But she felt that she was limited by being a MOTHER who had to give up her child at birth. Her deep sadness and guilt made her feel that she want good enough to be an authority and a leader. So she went to lots of personal development classes, courses and seminars over many years.

She worried that she would get SICK and she did, but she always recovered and went on to learn and grow and progress. Allie learned how to stay positive and change her transparent and limiting beliefs into powerful affirmations and create good experiences.

There were many times when she felt OVERWHELMED about life – all the things she had on her TO DO list. She grew despondent and gave up many times, only to lose herself and then find herself again, as she explored her shadow self and learnt how to balance and control her yin and yang energies.

Allie also learnt how to listen how to ask better questions. And how to set her BOUNDARIES and say no, therefore making better choices, and her life improved. She realised that she could transcend her sadness, and found her confidence, which gave her the money and FREEDOM to do what she loved.

When she realised that here core is LOVE and that Love is a powerful healer, she decided to love herself more. The more love energy she used, the more is available.

Future

So now Ally helps to heal men women and couples with her touch and the spiritual healing energy that comes through her. Using Tantra, massage, NLP and other techniques she’s learnt over the years, and tuning in to the wisdom of her intuition, she created her JOY business (which involves doing one-one sessions in Tantra massage, sexual coaching, relationship counselling, couples sessions, group Playshops and customised Tantra Training for men women and couples). She now lives her passion and purpose, which is to give and receive love and teach others how to love themselves and have more pleasure.

written in Bali in 2017

Sacred Feminine Adelaide Playshops

Sacred Feminine Adelaide Playshops

CALLING ALL WOMEN!

Explore your Sacred Feminine energy in Australia in 2019. Sacred Feminine Playshops are to educate and empower women about sacred sexuality, and help heal shame, guilt and fear with sensuality and love.

  • Do you want to tune into your Sacred Feminine Energy?
  • Empower your spiritual energy? Open your heart to love and radiance
  • To learn more about spiritual sacred energy and how to enhance it more?
  • Use Tantric breathwork for grounding, moving your energy, unblock your chakras to heal and energize
  • Connect with your spiritual guides and angels
  • Reconnect magic, passion, feel deep love and powerful female energy
  • Use meditation, dance, movement and Tantric techniques to tune into your unique divine energy

These Sacred Feminine Playshops have been held in Rockhampton, Brisbane, Hobart, and in 2017 about 60 women attended one at the Nyari Niara (Good Spirits) Festival on Bruny Island.

Using exercises from her book, ‘What Men and Women Really Want – 6 Tantric Love Secrets”, Ally includes meditation, dance, movement and fun easy spiritual exercises and techniques to give you a taste of Tantra, to tune into your Sacred Feminine energy and use them in your life to love yourself more.

  • Wednesday 7 March from 7pm-9pm – #1 – Sacred Feminine Evening – What do Women Really Want? This informative and experiential includes a healthy light supper, meditation, dance, movement and fun easy spiritual exercises and techniques
    Venue TBA Unley
    Women only. Bring a friend. $30 each. Book HERE or Contact Ally to secure your place
  • Wednesday 14 March from 7-10pm – #2 Sacred Feminine Evening – Spiritual Energy movement. Expand your feminine Tantric experience. Learn how to have an orgasm without touching yourself.
    Venue TBA Unley
    For the brave and sensual woman. Maximum 10 ladies. Wear comfy trousers. $30 each. Book HERE.
  • Book for both Evenings for $50 if paid in advance (eftpos, PayPal or DD, VISA and MasterCard add 3% fees)
  • Sunday 21 July 2019 from 10am to 4pm – Sacred Feminine Playshop – Enhance your feminine Tantric experience. Learn how to have an orgasm without touching yourself – fully clothed!
    Venue: Flaxley, close to Mt Barker, Adelaide Hills
    Maximum 10 ladies. Wear comfy trousers.
    Cost: $95 or bring a friend for $180 – if paid by 21-6-19,
    $105 paid by 21-7-19 – includes delicious healthy lunch.
    Plus $15 if you want to sleep over.
    Payment by Visa, MasterCard, Paypal, DD or cash. Book HERE.

Sacred Feminine Adelaide Evenings have also been held in Brisbane, Rockhampton and Hobart. And can be available wherever you can gather a minimum of 6 ladies – then you have yours free! Contact Ally to arrange date now

Sacred Feminine Adelaide with Ally
a woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing

Sacred Feminine Adelaide with Ally

Sacred Feminine Adelaide with Ally

Yoni massage

What is a Yoni Massage?

Yoni massage (or Vagina massage, or Sacred massage, or Tantra massage for a woman) is a whole body massage, which includes genitals, within your boundaries and limits.

First of all what is a yoni? What is a vagina? Is it the inside, the outside, or just the lips? Is it the same as the pussy? Is it the clit or clitoris?

“The vagina is the muscular and tubular part of the female genital tract, which in humans extends from the vulva to the cervix. At the deep end, the cervix (neck of the uterus) bulges into the vagina. The vaginal opening is protected by the labia or lips of the vagina. The labia majora (or the outer labia) are larger and fattier, while the labia minora are folds of skin between the outer labia. The labia surround and protect the clitoris and the openings of the vagina and the urethra. All vaginas and labia look slightly different.” (Wikipedia)

Pussy is our slang name for vagina.

Yoni is from Sanskrit and means “sacred garden”. People from India call the vagina a yoni. It literally means “vagina” or “womb”. And it is the symbol of the goddess Shakti or Devi in Hinduism. In Hindu philosophy, according to Tantra, “yoni” is the origin of life.

Clitoris (or clit for short) is the small, sensitive, erectile part of the female genitals.

And what then is a Yoni Massage? What is a Vagina Massage? Is it the whole body, or just the outside, include the inside? Is it painful or pleasurable? Do you touch my breasts? Do you stimulate me? Will I have an orgasm?

No matter what you call it, you will be pampered and pleasured. You can feel safe to be vulnerable. Being gently stroked all over – softly, sensually, with no expectation of anything except relaxation and enjoyment.

You can concentrate on your breathing, and your Tantric masseuse can lead you through a beautiful guided meditation . Starting with soft feather light strokes, then moving on to using unscented light massage oil, your body is covered with pleasure.

You can release stress and tension, let go of sexual blocks and trauma, tune into your feminine energy and feel that energy in your body. The healing can shift your feelings from negative to positive or from ambivalent to an-ti-c-i-pa—-tion!

You will be asked permission at the beginning to find out what your boundaries are. Your massage will be as relaxing, energising, sensual erotic or sexual as YOU want it to be! It’s all up to you and what you are comfortable with!

Its about being asked what you like.  If you don’t know, just exploring your body, gently and sensually, with respect and gentle nurturing love.

Orgasm – to have or not have?

Women experience pleasure like a wave, men often experience it as a mountain – to be conquered. A wave is much more fun, because you can ride the wave of pleasure, crest on the peak, surf the curl and then wait for the next one. You can stay there, riding the waves of ecstasy, one after the other. Or you can experience the rush as you glide to the beach and lie panting on the beach in the afterglow of that wild ride.

Regular orgasms can release tension so that you can heal past emotional experiences; feel more positive and confident about yourself and your life; relax and sleep better.

Breast Massage

Full body massage includes gentle stroking massage of breasts, can include nipples, which can be relaxing or stimulating, again depending on what you want…

Face stroking can be included too, if you like. Hair stroking, Arms and hands are also included at your request.

Vagina Massage – Pussy Massage – Yoni Massage

Finally, with permission, the yearning yoni is gently stroked, teased and touched. If she wants to be. This is totally up to you when we get to this point. Using special water-soluble massage oil (unscented), your thighs can be stimulated, and, with respectful permission, your yoni…

Does you clit feel energised? Are you relaxed, excited, turned on? Feeling juicy?

You can be feeling so safe, comfortable and nurtured that yoni touch is welcome. Or not.

This loving experience can be physical emotional and psychological – a holistic experience that can shift your feelings and tune you into your own inner beauty and feminine power

More information about yoni massages. More information about yoni pillow.
To make a booking with Ally HERE

pampering sensual yoni vagina massage for woman with Ally My Tantra Massagevagina massage of your yoni - feminine essence of woman My Tantra Massage

Better Lover Playshops

How to be a Better Lover – for Couples, Men and Women

in Adelaide in September 2016

Learn how to be a better lover:

  • Asking permission and getting feedback
  • New levels of communication
  • How to connect and create intimacy
  • The art of kissing
  • How to be present for your partner
  • Tantalising your partner’s senses
  • Tips and demo on how to tease and please your lover.

These Playshops are easy, practical and experiential. Have fun learning about how to be a better lover – for yourself and your partner.

‘How to be a Better Lover’ series of 2 Playshops

Monday night – ABCs of Connection, Communication and Intimacy

Friday night – demonstrations of special strokes for men and women

6.30pm to 9.30pm

Session 1  on Monday – $50 each single or $90 couple

Session 3 (demo) on Friday – $70 each single or $120 couple

Both sessions paid in full in advance 2 weeks before – $110 single, $200 couple

* NB couple can be friends.

Book HERE

‘How to be a Better Lover’ series of 3 Playshops in September in Adelaide

Monday 5th Wednesday 7th Friday 9th September 2016

6.30pm to 9.30pm

session 1 Monday $50 each single or $90 couple

session 2 Wednesday $50 each single or $90 couple

session 3 (demo) Friday $70 each single or $120 couple

You can do one, two or three sessions/evenings

Early Bird Price: All 3 sessions paid in full in advance by 20 August – $150 single, $290 couple

* NB couple can be friends

‘How to be a Better Lover’ series of 3 Playshops in Sydney Brisbane Canberra Darwin Perth Hobart Launceston and other places by request

If you would like me to present these 2 or 3 Playshop series in your town or city, contact me by email or phone so I can organise a date and time with you.

ALSO:

Sat 18 June – Tantra Practice Playshop in Adelaide

For couples or matched friends

7-11pm

  • put your new skills into practise
  • connect with like-minded people and
  • learn more about Tantra.

Couple $70, Men $50, Women $30

More information HERE. Booking HERE

How to be at Better Lover playshop by Ally mytantramassage.com.au

Your Pleasure

What is your pleasure?

your pleasure Tantric massage with Ally

Your Pleasure is relaxing, enjoying, doing nothing, receiving. Pleasure is surrendering to being pleasured. In giving pleasure you often receive it as well.

What gives you pleasure? Giving gifts, giving compliments, receiving touch, receiving compliments, hearing someone say “I love you”? Doing spontaneous special things for your spouse, for your friend, with your lover, to your partner? Receiving a special present of time or a quality item?

Is it appreciating a sunset or a babies smile or child’s first steps? Smelling fresh mown grass or hay? Eating a beautiful meal of a smorgasbord of tastes and colours? Or hearing a special song that makes you feel romantic or loved?

Do you enjoy reading a book, meditating, or learning something new? Check out my book “What Women Really Want – 6 Tantric Sex Techniques for Men and Couples” HERE

A child’s pleasure is delight, wonder of a ladybird or a new toy – which can be a cardboard box!
A teenager’s pleasure could be a night of passionate sex!
An adult’s pleasure could be the delicious taste of a delicate wine, or a breath of fresh air or the stars at night…

Your pleasure can be the absence of pain or the edge or pain – it’s different things to different people…

A smile expresses pleasure. If you add sound of laughter it builds and spreads more, from one person to another. A baby’s giggle, a child’s laugh, and adults chuckle make us smile or laugh too Laughter is infectious, bubbling up and transferring from you to me…

Pleasure turns sadness into happiness, joy into bliss,
giggles into laughter and ennui into love.

What is your greatest pleasure?

You can experience a Tantra Pleasure Experience – a taste of Tantra with Ally today, this week. More details HERE, make a Booking, call on 0419 038 310 if you are in Adelaide EMAIL if you are in Australia, New Zealand or any country in the world…

Your pleasure is medicine and love has the power to heal with tantra massage
Pleasure is medicine and love has the power to heal. Devi Ward

Harbouring Halloween erotic poem

Harbouring Halloween 

It was the dark of the moon
the dark goddess came out
and she wore white lace
to seduce and bewitch with a pout.

She danced to her inner music
and he watched, in a trance
while she turned and twirled
weaving her erotic love dance.

Then they undressed each other
slowly, languidly, with the tide
this except for her lacy G string,
which he gently moved aside.

Revelling in her juiciness
he licked and teased her venus mound
while she leaned to find handholds
on the Nav. table and all round.

Then, with her legs in the air
and her body open wide
the dark of the moon reflected in his eyes
as he slid gently inside.

The yacht rocked gently
under the Horn-ed moon
the lapping of the sea water
kept rhythm with their sexy tune.

Did anyone in the marina hear
their moans of passionate sex?
Her quivers and gasps of ecstasy?
His tremendous climax?

Perhaps only the fish
under the boat’s keel
sheltering from the storm
out in the Keppel sea….

moonrise

Divine Eros

I have read a wonderful book called “The Power of Divine Eros” by A H Almaas and Karen Johnson. At the end of each chapter are questions, which I have written the answers to and share with you here:

oceanic-lovers-jim-warren

How do I experience the selfless giving of love?

When I give people a massage or healing session, I tune into spirit, the divine eros, and open my heart to the flow of love.

I experience it like the feeling of taking someone on a journey, with the power of love, unconditional and honouring. I feel that I guide them to move out of their head into their body and experience the opening of the heart space–a Stargate which they go through or sit on the edge of pleasure, floating on waves of breath, in tune with and in control of their own energy. I feel the connection of our energy–sometimes I let a vibrate me, sometimes it turns me on, and sometimes it gives me energetic orgasms.

I give my body and spiritual energy over to this divine erotic energy and feels wonderful.

I need to be aware of my breath and my control, so that I keep the other person’s energy at all on the edge, without going over.

Sometimes when I’m not feeling 100 percent at the beginning, the healing energy coming through heals me as well and I feel relaxed and energised afterwards.

When people express themselves in moans or words, I feel great, to know I have once again been a tour guide to help them get in touch with the divine erotic energy.

How do I experience passionate wanting?

I experience passionate wanting in the moment. Often when giving a Tantra Pleasure Experience massage, I feel that I “ fall in love “ with the person. I feel very close and intimate. Sometimes I WANT to stay in the moment for ever–feeling the connection and the pleasure, the intimacy and the flow of love that seems to go both ways in a circle. And neither needs to give or receive, take or leave, not separate, just flowing in unconditional compassionate feeling. Is it love? Or divine eros? No words can really describe how I feel.

How I experience the relationship of these 2 things – Selfless Giving of love and Passionate Wanting – in my life, in my experience? 

I experience these two as a flow. As I give pleasure to someone, I feel intimate, connected to them and to the large wholeness of being. The Wanting is to merge rather than a selfish need to hold on or separate. It’s a merging into wholeness.

How do I experience the opposition, the conflict, or the disharmony between this week giving spiritual love on the one hand, and the wanting, the desire, the passion and intensity on the other?

Spiritual love is connecting, easy, flowing and sometimes Wanting is separating and pulsing, not flowing smoothly.

With a lover recently, I didn’t feel that spiritual connection. He didn’t kiss me much, and didn’t touch me much. No desire was awakened. Although my yoni was very juicy, my mind was not turned or not tuned in. It was a strange disconnected feeling, however it still worked. We made love, easily and with good connection. But without intimacy, without love. So I flowed with physical, the passion and His obvious need and desire for sex (but not desire for me). And I flowed with my body’s needs for sex, for release, for physical enjoyment. But I didn’t feel loved.

As Allan Pease says “Women give sex for love, and men give love for sex…”

What are the ways in which I experience my love for the world?

My love for the world comes with compassion, with healing, releasing as much judgment about people so that I can love them and be open for them to learn, heal, relax and surrender. To make a safe space for people to rejuvenate and feel relaxed, empowered and re-energised.

My intention is that the sacred space that I have created in my healing temple room in Adelaide and the portable healing space I create in other cities, towns, homes and rooms, is a safe secure space for people to feel at-home, so that they can release their burdens stresses, fears and anxieties; to heal their hurts and pains, and feel the free flow of the spiritual energy and the connection to the Universe/Source/God to be whole and complete.

I also experience my love for the world by healing the world one person at a time.

How do I experience my love for spiritual freedom?

My love for spiritual freedom is experienced as a light, unlimited, disembodied feeling–like dreaming, like when you first wake from sleep, like a magic orgasm, no limits, no boundaries, just ease and flow. Its like swimming with no clothes to restrict, like flying on the wings of the wind, being transported by a touch or taste or smell. It can last a few seconds, a few minutes, or be outside of time and eternal. It’s a feeling that is beyond sight, beyond words, beyond description. The words talk around it. Like clear sky–eternal and limitless, with no edges, no horizon, no beginning or end.

How do I experience the relationship between these 2 loves? My love for the world and my love for spiritual freedom.

In my Tantric practice and teaching, I am trying to give the client an experience of spiritual freedom and love and loving themselves, by taking them through their body, via breathing awareness, so that they can feel the freedom that I feel. I guide them through a series of steps that mostly gives them a spiritual experience of…

Is it tantra, Home, God, Enlightenment, source, WTF, sexual, spiritual, pleasure, bliss, euphoria or wow!?

Which leaves them often in an altered state, a different space, relaxed and energised, heavy and blissful. They are in love with themselves and feeling free…

What connects them? Me!

Ally July 2014

Divine Eros is spiritually opening my heart, mind body and soul to the flow of love.

Tantra is spiritual love

5 Most Common Regrets of the Dying

This is pure gold. Read it now, while you’re still healthy. Read it slowly.

I do not know who wrote it, however there are some things we can do now…

– – – –

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal.

Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.

Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret.

But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do.

And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.

Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years.

There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away.

People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love.

Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice.  They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits.

The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content.

When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. 

Choose happiness.

Thank you to William for the lovely sunset photo 🙂