Wept, soft and lonely on moonlit sands
Sobbed, wild and fretful, with the moaning wind
Inside they well up; o’erflow when alone.

Whispered timidly amongst somber pines
Groaned wildly with the ceaseless surf
When, unashamed and lonely, their sound fills the night.

Flowing out as silver moondrops
Breaking silence in the lonely house
They come, emotion-born, to flow and grow
As grief overwhelms.

Tears of anguish, tears of longing
(Tears are left when nothing else will do)
Tears, not wept for an age
Now herald the end of “innocence” and childhood.

Alone I cry
No one to comfort me
No shoulder to cry on
Or arms to hold me close.

A puddle of tears forms around me
Encircling me with grief
For a baby that will never be mine
For my motherhood unfulfilled.

Afterwards, I hear a baby crying for 2 days
I cannot console her,
There is no one to support me here
I feel lonely, alone and sad.

I deny I am a mother for 20 years
Trying to be a “good girl”
Doing what my parents tell me to do
Going against my integrity.

I send a big box of love to her every year
On her birthday …
Vowing one day I will meet her.
And I do.

She is 21, she shows me the photos of her life
And I feel proud, grateful to give her to her adopted family.
She invites me to her wedding
It’s the proudest day of my life.

a poem by Ally