This is dedicated to all the mothers who do NOT celebrate Mother’s Day. You may have lost your baby or your child through death, or adoption or other ways – mentally or physically. Or you have not been able to have a baby for one reason or another.
Mothers grieve their lost baby – whether trying for conception, a baby not grown to be a child, teenager or adult. A mother can also lose her child to disease, family conflicts or religious or government interventions.
Teenagers are distant from their mothers, usually because tremendous hormonal changes make them challenge everything happening – in their bodies and minds. Changes can be so unbalancing, rebellious and scary that thoughts and words turn to rejection, reckless abandon, and sometimes suicide, therefore, leading to loss, although this can often be a temporary phase.
The bittersweet joy and grief of seeing “my little one”, “all grown up” and getting married to their own love is a big moment’s separation for a mother too. This can often be healed by grandchildren. Grief, pain or sadness of losing a beloved child who dies before his or her mother can also”break her heart”.
The thought of Mother’s Day and your mother might bring up toxic feelings of revulsion, triggering anger, resentment and other negative emotions.
Separation by ocean, country and custom is also a common fear and wound that mother and child can experience. Sporadic communication is often frustrating on both sides.
And then there is a sadness of losing your own mother – physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually – and your own feelings of sadness, grief and frustration.
The frustration of BEING a mother feeling unappreciated (except for one day a year) tired, stressed, overworked and underpaid.
So please have compassion and unconditional love for other women on Mother’s Day as they may not all have loving families to be with.
And if, like me, you are a mother that has lost her child, given birth and not been able to love, nurture and mother her; spoil yourself now. Treat yourself as you would want to be treated – with love, happiness and joy.
Ally
